Why Weight Lifting and Babes Go Together like PB&J

For the record, I was a fatkid and always will be inside of my heart. I prefer Netflix marathons of Breaking Bad, reading a solid 600 page book, sleeping until 10am, and breakfast-food eating contests over anything else. So, needless to say working out was never built into my anatomical arena. However, do not fret young padawans, if there is a will there is a way. The number one reason I disdained exercise was the amount of fudge monkeying (my cuter way and less obscene way of saying ‘fuck,’ but let’s be serious, this is a blog about fitness, not a Bob Ross art class) time it would consume in my schedule. That’s when I find the mecca of all fitness secrets for women: lifting weights. These are my top reasons why women really ought to be lifting heavy weights at the gym and the answers to the excuses I often hear from my fellow gender as to why they do not life weights.

1. Weights Vs. Cardio. Vs. Time.
The number one complaint I hear from friends, coworkers, and females in general on why they do not go to the gym is, “I don’t have time for that shit.” Well, ladies, ahem, what if I could tell you if you got your ass off of the elliptical and lifted something at the gym for half the time, you would have better physical results? Appealing? I thought the same thing. I see women day in and day out bouncing like gazelles on ellipticals and treadmills and sure, you’ll lose weight from cardio, but you’re still not going to have beautifully taut and toned muscles underneath your epithelial layers. Cardio has a tendency to break muscles down first for energy which is why most bodybuilders don’t start doing cardio until a few weeks out from contest time (along with epic diets etc.). But, I dare you to do a 1/2 an hour of lifting weights instead of 1 hour of cardio for a month and see what your body looks like at the end of it.

2. Female Arnold Syndrome
Swoleism, the religion I am founding with Arnold Schwarzenegger as our prophet, is the idea that being swole and flexing your shit everywhere is absolutely awesome. However, a lot of my female counterparts have this misconception that if they lift anything larger than 10lbs they are going to wake up looking like a genetic hybrid of the Swoleites deity and their own DNA mashed together. Girls: No. Do you know how heavy I have to lift just to see a slight difference? Quite heavy. The major benefit of lifting weights for women is your body mass will grow smaller and denser because your fat % will go down while your muscles lift things to all of the write places. Basically, if you want perky boobs, a flat stomach, and to be the envy of Big Booty Judy, lift weights. You’ll look more like Shakira and not like a roid-raging-hulk-she-man. I promise. Pinky promise. Don’t believe me? Check out this article on BodyBuilding.com:

3. Health Benefits
Well, if the aesthetic qualities of lifting weights weren’t enough for you because you’re the superficial Barbie doll type, let’s talk health benefits. If you lift weights you will build skeletal and joint strength which is excellent prevention for bone diseases in the later years of your life. It is also shown to increase brain activity, coordination, and if you do endurance sports such as running or swimming, studies have also shown weight lifting and resistance training aid in athlete’s overall performance in their cardio based sport. Oh, and did I mention it’s one hell of a stress reliever? Exercise in general is known for it’s magical good-feeling-hormone-releasing-powers.

In a Nutshell:

Basically, you save time, have a better body, and you will absolutely feel better once you build up a better recovery system in your body. The lactic acid will leave eventually, I swear. There are thousands of other reasons I truly believe everyone can benefit from weight lifting but these are my top main three. I should be putting together a simple starter training plan for anyone looking to hop into the weight room 🙂


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